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July 30, 2005

Are Turkeys viviparous?

Have you ever seen a dozen or even a single turkey's egg for sale?

I've eaten hens eggs (from all different classes of hens), quails eggs, ducks eggs and goose egs. I have heard of pheasants eggs, eagles eggs and even crocodile eggs. But nowhere in the common vernacular have I ever heard any one tell about a meal of poached, fried, scrambled, omletted or other wise cooked or raw turkeys eggs.

What gives?

I have a feeling it is something to do with secret government experiments. Or maybe they are super tasty and the farmers like to keep them all for themselves?

I want turkey egg omlette damn it!

Posted by dottie at 3:33 PM | Comments (0)

Sweet nothings

These late night entries are something special for me I am realising more and more. Almost like the whispered secrets you tell your lover in the middle of the night when you are both half-drunk and half-asleep - or in the hope of lightening your spirit by sharing a secret, or truth, or lie badly told.

So here I sit again typing my little sweet nothings. Throwing out a line and hoping I reel in some fish for my supper.

Its dark - I cant see who you are - and you cant know me. So we guess. And because of this we more than half invent the person we love and so will them to mould themselves into the shapes we have thrust at them.

And then we get angry when they wander off to talk to real human beings at parties.

Go figure :D pass the wine!

Posted by dottie at 1:50 AM | Comments (0)

Photo competition

I was asked today (well, I guess yesterday now, but I always count the awake periods of time as days...) to judge a photo competition.

I'm no Ansel Adams, but thankfully given the nature of this competition, landscape was the farthest thing from my mind.

I was asked to judge a discrete ass photography competition.

Two friends of mine would use their camera phones to take pictures of girls (girls asses).

The winner would be judged on beauty, general appeal / sexiness and proximity and whatever else criteria that occurred to me at the time (I was rushed, I based it all on a ugt reaction to the shots).

So here are the pictures, the commentary and the winners. Let me know what you think.

1:
Top marks for apparent age and the fact that the trackies look like they are about to fall off her. Losing points for proximity, lack of facial shot and the fact that she seems to be hanging out in the park with her dads mates

2:
Classic beauty. Like two puppy dogs rolling around in a silk sack. Nice figure and obviously affectionate. Fair points for proximity, good points for general bounciness, but losing points for the fact that she is hanging off her boyfriend and not her bikini clad lesbian lover.

3:
The lovely spectacle of tanned underage limbs and midriffs combined with a subtle panties adjustment is somewhat marred by the foreground. Top marks for variety and youthfullness, losing marks for foreground and proximity.

4:
Tis a pity the soft curve of her buttocks couldnt have been accentuated by the tightly drawn skirt that would have occured mid-stride. Behold the loveliness of her legs, the soft grey cashmere sweater and the pseudo tennis player skirt that thrills and teases us with memories of Anna Kournicova et al. Top marks for figure and proximity. Lost marks due to lack of 'definition'

5:
Tatoos. Pink velure. Midriff. Definition. This picture has it all. She is obviously a D4 girl trying to look like a bit of trash. She succeds and I for one am loving it. Extra points for the suggestion that her kacks might at any moment fall to her ankles. Sassy. Excellent marks for figure and proximity and definition. Extra marks for approaching soft porn territory. Well done that man.

6:
fabulous figure and lovely hair (what I can see of it). the teasing of the forbidden barely covered by the top adds to the depth and mystery of this moody picture. what is she thinking? Makes us want to know her more. While the last picture was a wham bam thank you mam sort - this ones for the long run. Good marks for proximity, fair marks for definition, top marks for figure and general attractiveness

7:
ooh. Denim skirt. Lovin it. The graceful line of th eleg draws the eye toward the distressed edges of the skirt teasing the imagination. Obviously loves the cock. Top marks for fine pair of pins, loses marks for lack of anything else. Fair marks for proximity.

8:
Not really much to see here. A second later and maybe a nice profile would have emerged. As it is the photograph (no comment on the subject) fails to titilate. Good marks for proximity low marks elsewhere

9:
WHo doesnt love the carnival? The question is will they keep that get up on in bed? Imaginings of what you might get up to with three lovely ladies who can flick their hips to a samba beat is marred by the appearance of Saint Bono in the foreground. Poor marks for proximity, good marks for figures an general allure

10:
Compared to her mates shes fantastic. The added spice of the fact that she is obviously foreign only adds to her appeal. She is obviouly into virile animals and might even be sensitive enough to make you feel like one. Good figure, fair points for proximity and added points for general appeal

Number 5 won it followed closely by number 6.

It was a pleasure to judge...

Posted by dottie at 1:33 AM | Comments (0)

July 29, 2005

Eircom are a bunch of c*nts

I've had it with Eircom.

Phoned them up today to try and ask about the cost of my broadband service (€50 per month + VAT!).

Three times I got lead down a voice menu tree (different numbers each time) to be lead to a dead end of a disconnected tone.

Finally I get through to some feckin knuckle dragger (apparentley a sales person...) who seems incapable of explaining what the difference is between different services, or of even being inetrested in the fact that a customer has phoned up with a query, so he transfers me to support. Only support is a disconnected dial tone.

Fuck you eircom. Fuck you very much.

I'm moving my broadband and my phone service elsewhere you thieving bastards.

Posted by dottie at 2:07 PM | Comments (0)

July 26, 2005

Spam king gets clobbered

A Russian spam king was literally clobbered to death.

The guy sent spam to everyone in Russia that had an email address through the auspices of his company 'American Language Center'.

Apparently the celebrations are still going on in Moscow.

Posted by dottie at 10:34 AM | Comments (0)

Religion is pr0n too!

I dont know why religious people get all freaked out by pornography. They have plenty of their own. Think about the smutty stories throughout the bible of begat'ing, adultery, crimes of passion all over the place - its a regular Mills and Boon.

Then there is the religious art. Take this for instance as it says in the Wikipedia - One of Bernini's most famous sculptures, this work depicts a scene described in Teresa of Avila's mystical writings, in which an angel has pierced her heart with a dart of divine love and withdrawn it.

The body posture and facial expression of St Teresa has caused comparisons to someone experiencing sexual climax. Supporter of this theory call attention to both her roughly wrinkled clothing and the direction of the angel's "dart of love" which points at her pubic area.

I'd agree - looks like the girl is having a good time!

As for this lot - I think we all know where this is going - Jesus juice and special bedtime stories before the minister visits them all individually and in groups for some old Testament extra curricular activities.

Posted by dottie at 10:31 AM | Comments (0)

July 19, 2005

Christian Fundamentalist Terrorist Gets Life

Eric Rudolph gets hauled off to his new home where hopefully he will be taught the true meaning of prayer to such archetypal figures as 'Sweet Jesus (that hurts)', 'oh god, oh god, oh god' and 'mommy'.

Posted by dottie at 12:17 AM | Comments (0)

List of lists of list of lists....

It's not the time it takes to take the take that takes the time,
It's the time it takes between the takes that takes the time.
Roy Scheider in and interview on the set of "Jaws"

Not exactly succint but the idea is that you spend so much time mentally backing up and assessing the gap before putting yourself in gear and trying to drive your mental vehicle into a tiny parking space as quickly as possible before doing it all again.

My poor brain is confused - too much new stuff going on at the moment - learning .NET, producing a web service, using XSL transformations in .NET, writing business plans, design.... hoovering.....laundry

Somethings got to give and as I am still not being paid to do my on laundry (why! WHY!?) and sleep is a waste of four hours, I'll be slack jawed and smelly the next time you meet me.

What do you mean 'whats new?'

Posted by dottie at 12:05 AM | Comments (1)

July 17, 2005

Check the cabbage patch!

I was out on the town last night with my mate Emmet and he announced that his wife, the lovely Fionnulla, is having a baby!

Yay Emmet! Way to go man!

Posted by dottie at 11:00 PM | Comments (0)

July 16, 2005

Call from a friend on high

I jut got a call from a mate of mine, Donagh. He was 150 feet in the air at the time, installing a screen in Croke Park. We were idly chatting away about this and that and the upcoming launch party for a rockumentary he had worked on (more on this later). In the background I started hearing someone calling his name, then more insistently, then many voices calling 'Donagh, Donagh, Donagh!' as quick as possible.

'Uh I guess I better go' says Donagh

I'll be reading tomorrow about how a 2 million euro screen was dropped and smashed in Croke Park :)

Posted by dottie at 11:24 AM | Comments (0)

Comments open again

Thought I would experiment with allowing you lot (err...) add comments again.

Give it a shot

Posted by dottie at 2:26 AM | Comments (0)

Disk disaster

I had my main hard drive fail a few weeks ago. I thought at the time that I might be able to retrieve the information but I found out a few days ago that it was mostly gone.

I have backups of the most important stuff - old emails, business stuff, development work etc. but the real kick in the balls is all my pictures fomr the last few years are gone, gone, gone...

Most of the baby pictures of my niece Alannah, all the pics from Rosscommon over the last few years, family get togethers, parties, walks. All gone. I was slightly freaked to say the least :)

In a way its freedom - I have to start form scratch.

When I was younger I used to get excited by seeing a sheet of blank paper - my mind would go into overdrive with the possibilities of what I could draw on it.

My computer is now a blank sheet.

The timing is strange too - coming at a time when I am trying to slough off some old habits, memories, bad times. Less shadows, more light.

In a way the disk crash was spring cleaning.

Never having liked spring cleaning I invested in some backup software, a mirrored drive and lots of DVD's - I'm lazy at heart - I always end up doing loads of work in order to avoid work :)

Posted by dottie at 1:52 AM | Comments (0)

w00t!

I finally switched to my new server.

There will be a new design soon - I promise.

what?! I did not have my fingers crossed behind my back!

I resemble that remark!

Posted by dottie at 1:15 AM | Comments (0)

July 7, 2005

Victims

Over 30 people were killed today by bomb blasts in the London tube system and an unconfirmed amount in a packed bus that was transporting the people who were turned away from the closed tube stations - may they rest in peace and whatever God they believe in guide them to their eternal rest, rebirth or reward.

Hundreds more more injured. Many of those maimed, their lives irrevocably changed due to missing limbs, severe burns, emotional trauma.

Enemies of democracy brought this down upon their heads - all our heads. People who would instill fear into the hearts and minds of people in their own countries and all over the world. Fear to control those people, make them weak, bend them to their will.

Bullies. Sadistic, evil, perverted, twisted fiends who's hearts know only blood and pain and suffering. Men who would twist anything to suit their designs. Men who have only their own interests at heart and would swim through a rising tide of blood and gore to reach their goal - total domination.

George Orwell gave us an image of totalitarianism - a jackboot stamping into our faces forever. We may yet all know the sting of it.

The pity of it is that these weak and fearful men who drive other weak men mad with fear and then to depravation and perversity are among us also.

Stop the madness, stop the deaths - don't give into the fear.

Posted by dottie at 8:57 PM

A speech I heard recently

I'm sorry, I don't want to be an emperor - that's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like ot help everyone if possible - jew, gentile, black man, white.

We all want to help one another; human beings are like that. We want to live by each others hapiness, not by each others misery. We dont want to hate and despise one another.

In this world there is room for everyone, and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. Our way of life can be free and beautiful but we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned man's soul, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed and shut ourselves in.

Machinery that gives us abundance leaves us in want.

Our knowledge has made us cynical, our cleverness - hard and unkind.

We think too much, feel too little.

More than machinery, we need humanity.

More than cleverness, we need kindness, gentleness.

Without these qualities, life would be violent and all would be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us coser together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in man. Cries out for universal brotherhood, for the unity of all.

Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world. Millions of despairing men, women and little children. Victims of a system that makes me torture and imprison innocent people.

To those who can hear what I say - do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men who will pass and dictators die - and the power they took from the people will return to the people and so long as men die liberty will not perish.

Soldiers, don;t give yourselves to brutes ,men who despiseyou, enslave you, who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel. Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder.

Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men, machine men, with machine minds and machine gearts.

You are not machines.

You are not cattle.

You are men.

You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don't hate - only the unloved hate, the unloved and unnatural. Soldiers - don't fight for slavery, fight for liberty.

In the seventeenth chapter of Saint Luke it is written - 'the kingdom of God is within man, not one man, nor a group of men, but in all men' - in you, you the people have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make this life a wonderful adventure.

Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power. Let us all unite. Let us all fight for a new world. A decent world that will five men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security.

By the promise of these things brutes have risen to power - but they lie. They do not fulfill that promise, they never will.

Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people.

Now let us fight to fulfill that promise.

Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national boundaries, to do away with greed, with hate, with intolerance.

Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all man's hppiness.

Soldiers - in the name of democracy - unite!

Charlie Chaplin - from his film 'the great dictator'

Posted by dottie at 8:43 PM | Comments (0)

July 6, 2005

Pete's Birthday

Tomorrow is my brothers birthday. Happy birthday Petey!

We'll be having the usual dinner in town to mark the occassion, which is always a treat.

Another tradition we have (just kinda fell into it..) is to present each other with cards of an ironic nature. It was an accident as it is usually impossible to find decent cards so I always look for the cheesy ones like 'I am six' and scrawl in the 3 (yes really!) and write a funny message.

We all laugh. And we all love it. We are an informal family - mostly because we all have a great deal of respect and love for one another and like nothing better than to take the piss whenever the occassion arises.

So happy birthday Petey! I love you and your family, and my extended family, and I'm looking forward to another night of good humoured banter and fine food.

Also friday night will be great too - import Guinness and playstation - woo hoo!

Posted by dottie at 12:27 AM | Comments (0)

July 5, 2005

Special delivery : 400 GigaBytes of sheer storage power

Kneel before me!

I now have 0.96 Terabytes of storage in my bedroom. Yeah baby!

Now to lie to all the drunk Geek chicks and tell them I have a terabyte!

Posted by dottie at 11:46 AM | Comments (0)

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Barring the obvious that I actually havent grown up yet (no height jokes please) I dont think I have actually found what I want to do with the rest of my life yet.

I cant remember exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I dont think I ever had so much motivation, well beyond wheedling an extra bowl of ice cream and learning to lovethe taste of cooking chocolate (I was a fat kid). I remember reading lots.

My favourite books were the 'Tell me How' series. These books dedicated a page to an invention or idea and rapped about how it was discovered, who discovered it, when it was discovered and invariably how the inventor came to a grim end - usually at the hands of his demented lab assistant, wife or angry luddite mob (a lot of stuff was invented by the French aristos - the enlightenment dontcha know...)

I guess I wanted to be an inventor.

I know I am now adept at inventing new excuses for avoiding work - so I guess I fulfilled my ambition.

Life is so lonely at the top ;)

Posted by dottie at 2:08 AM | Comments (0)

July 4, 2005

Live 8 Girl

One of the gimmicks they had for LIve 8 was to have one of the survivors of the famine in Africa some up on stage and thank the world for refusing to let her die.

I just caught her picture (small) on the front page of some newspaper. Shes a looker.

I can picture the ultimate irony. The girl gets picked up by some modelling agency and is set to rocket to fame and fortune but not until she fulfills the ritual that ALL models have to undergo - lose some weight.

Posted by dottie at 4:54 PM | Comments (0)

July 3, 2005

Skiing

A group of us are going to go skiing for three weeks in January in the Meribel resort in France.

I'm really looking forward to it as my ski trips are usually the only extended break I get away from work all year - three weeks will be heaven!

Meribel has a lot of runs in its valley, good mix of blue, red and back. But, there is also another two valleys on either side of the Meribel resort - just get to the top of a run and drop off the other side of the mountain and there you are :)

I think it will take us three weeks just to ski down all the runs, never mind find a favourite or stop to admire the view - and then the apres ski!

Excellent.

Posted by dottie at 11:34 PM | Comments (0)

Where I've been part II

and yes I have had a couple of drinks. But i mean what I said. I'm back.

I'm done with letting anguish and loss, hate and fear rule my life.

Or at least that's the plan.

I have had a fat, bad little cunt ruling my life despite my best intentions. That will end, and peacefully. Much as I would like to ensure that this particular fucker does not pass his genetic code onto the next generation, I will keep in mind that what goes around comes around. And remember that the best revenge is to live well. And that I will do.

I'm ready for something new and hopefully that will be enough to encourage some seeds to flourish and bloom into something worth cultivating instead of running from.

So basically I'm saying if you should cal me and ask if I am heading out for the night I will at least try and say - call me tomorrow - instead of just saying no.

Love and peace

Posted by dottie at 4:24 AM | Comments (0)

Where I've been

I have been lost. Lost to myself. Lost to the world.

By degrees I have been finding my way back. Following tracks that were familiar many years before and now are mere memories.

Most of my wounds have healed, some still pain me and flare with infection from time to time. And then madness beckons.

Despite the downs, there are more ups. And I can find solace in objectivty.

The next obstacle is my own apathy. Ice and loose rocks...

and hey, life IS good. Thanks to my friends and especially my family.

Posted by dottie at 4:08 AM | Comments (0)