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February 25, 2004
How to fake being tall
10 tips on how to look and feel taller - immediate results!
1. Hammer 2x4's across all your doorways at forehead level
2. carry a chair for standing on in crowds. Better again tie one to each foot for mobility
3. Cut the ends off all your trousers and all the arms and bodies of your shirts, tshirts and jumpers
4. when driving, move your seat as far forward as you can get it
5. eat all your meals off side plates
6. cut down the legs of all your tables and chairs
7. break the top third off all mirrors in your house so that when in a normal standing poition the highest point of your body that you can see is your chest. Try to shave.
8. ask all your friends to kneel down when they talk to you
9. wear a sign on your back that says 'I can predict the weather on mount everest'. Be prepared for people asking you 'whats the wether like up there'
10. date a dwarf (your dick looks huge in their hands!!)
Comments
Naoimh
Funny shit. Just came across this tonight. Liked no. 5.
Posted by dottie at February 25, 2004 1:07 AM
Comments
Funny shit. Just came across this tonight. Liked no. 5.
Posted by: Naoimh at April 27, 2004 10:18 PM